Unicorns and Gay Sex in the Bible
The Difficulties of Translation
Arrival
One of my favorite movies is “Arrival,” a great film directed by Denis Villeneuve. It delves into the quandary of communicating with an alien species that visits Earth. It’s beautifully shot with haunting music and explores the terrible question: If we knew what was coming, would we make the same decisions?
It’s a great question to explore. I really don’t know the answer to that and I am very glad I don’t know what will happen in the future.
Translating Can Be Difficult
When I lived in Germany, I was often given the task of translating simultaneous for English speakers. This can often be quite difficult. One time during a conference, I was translating for someone who was reading a humorous newspaper article from the 1920’s about a Salvation Army meeting in Berlin. The humorous part was in the article’s Berliner dialect and the delivery of the speaker. However, when I was translating it, it sounded like a very serious topic. My listeners were confused. Why were all the German speakers laughing at such a serious subject?
At that point I had to stop and let them know that I was unable to effectively translate the humor. I could tell them why it was funny for the German listeners, but I couldn’t accurately convey the humor.
There are other crazy stories I could regale the reader with. I had a friend who was translating for a Scottish speaker. The speaker was relaying how, despite all of our differences, we were all human. “We all have the same genes.” My friend translated into German, “We all have the same jeans.” Quite a few English speakers were on hand to correct my poor friend.
One time after church in Hannover, Germany, I was talking about the movie, “The Mexican,” and how in one scene people were celebrating by shooting guns into the air. I should have said, “Sie haben in die Luft geschossen,” but instead I said, “Sie haben in die Luft geschissen.” (They shitted into the air.)
I never lived that one down, nor should I.
Unicorns in the Bible
Which brings me to perhaps a crazy thing: Bible translations. I have the utmost respect for people who translate the Bible into native languages. It is so difficult to bring 2000 year old languages into the modern vernacular. It is very much like the process of translation in the movie, “Arrival.” Why? What is so complicated about translating the Bible?
The King James Version has unicorns all throughout it. (Psalm 22:21 is a good example.) In fact, the Bible talks more about unicorns (9 times) than it does about gay sex (perhaps 6).
This was because when the Authorized (or King James Version) was written, unicorns were thought to be real and people actually believed Saint George slew a dragon. Neither are real, but more than likely King James did have a male lover.
So many Christians today seem intent on bashing the Bible at LGBTQ people with these verses they so often take out of context. They quote the verses and assume that it is evidently clear about what they are talking about. It rarely is clear and more often than not isn’t even talking about LGBTQ issues of today.
The Bible is a beautiful ancient book of literature, full of wonderful and terrible words. It, however, is not a tool and it most certainly is not a weapon, despite people trying to say that the armor of God includes the Bible as a sword. (The Word of God is not the Bible.)
Whenever someone tells me that the “Bible is clear” on any subject, I almost immediately know that what they mean to say is: “My interpretation of the Bible says . . . “
The Bible is not clear. The Bible is a discussion with itself. The Bible disagrees with itself. I often have a complicated relationship with the Bible, but it is still one I love to read.
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